The House of Elyot

Uniformity

Posted on: November 28, 2010

It’s been quite a week, and a big part of it has been the release of Uniform Behaviour, which is a first venture into anthology editing by my friend and fellow eroticist, Lucy Felthouse. Not that you’d know she was a novice! She tore into this project with relish and the end result is fabulously polished and tirelessly promoted. I’ve long known that Lucy is a dynamo, but she has really outdone herself here. And not only can you buy it with confidence that you will enjoy your reading experience, but you can also have the satisfying glow of knowing that you have given to charity – a percentage of the proceeds goes to the Help the Heroes fund.

My story in the collection is called Guard Mounting, and deals with the interesting proposition of what it might take to get one of those guards outside Buckingham Palace to crack a facial expression of some kind. Famously impassive under their bearskin hats, surely something must provoke a reaction…

And of course my guard’s uniform is just one of the many. You can also read stories by Rebecca Bond ; Lexie Bay ; Victoria Blisse ; Lucy Felthouse ; Shermaine Williams ; Delyth Angharad ; Cassandra Carr ; Indigo Skye ; Madeline Elayne ; Hawthorn ; Jack Delaney ; Elizabeth Coldwell and Craig J Sorensen.

Here is an excerpt from Guard Mounting for you.

“Hey, Guardsman,” I purred, swinging my hips in a sexy little shimmer over to his billet. “Do you like to watch dancing girls?”
I swayed in and out of his space, pushing my breasts up and together or turning around to perform the aforementioned booty-shake, then pushing my hands up through my hair, the way I’d seen some screen siren do on a sixties movie about strippers. He remained expressionless, so I licked my lips, pushed a hand down inside the elastic of my knickers, thrust my pelvis out in mute invitation. Nothing.
“You’re good at this,” I told him, moving closer. “What does that hat feel like? I’ve always wondered.”
Earlier Greg had told me it was real bear skin, which had freaked me out somewhat, though he insisted the Ministry of Defence were involved in an ongoing search for a synthetic alternative, so I supposed it would be unfair to blame him for their failure.
I put my hand to its silkiness and brushed it, but couldn’t restrain a shudder and quickly retracted it again, using my fingers to stroke his impassive cheek instead. I slid a nail inside the gold plaited chin strap and tickled his skin, but not so much as a twitch was my reward.
“Come on,” I coaxed, easing the strap upward past his mouth and nose, “let me take this big heavy thing off you.” His eyes, uncovered by the dense black fuzz, were distant and glazed. How could a living, breathing man have such control of himself? I put my pouting lips to his, but the kiss I gave him was unreciprocated. I transferred it sideways to his cheekbone, gave his earlobe a little flicking lick, but if it weren’t for the heat of his skin, he could have been made of marble.
Perhaps his neck would betray him – but covered as it was with the dress collar, it was invulnerable to my assault. I would have to take off his jacket. I caressed the epaulettes that decorated his wide shoulders, then let my flat palms travel down the scarlet chest to the white belt at his waist. Unbuckled, it was laid to rest on my dressing-table, then I got to work on the rows of embossed gold buttons, undoing them in sets of three, until it became clear that he hadn’t bothered to keep his shirt on underneath. When my hands slipped inside the rich red tunic, they encountered smooth bare flesh, pectoral muscle and tiny hard nipples which I couldn’t resist giving a tweak.
Glancing upward, I met only that faraway gaze he had been wearing since he entered the room. What would it take? How on earth could I conquer this staunch defender of the monarch?

1 Response to "Uniformity"

Thank you for your lovely, lovely words. I’m proud to be called your friend. Your story is awesome! I’ll never see those red jacketed fellows without smiling again! 🙂

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